My only grandson, Parker, was born on September 10th, 2020. Just 52 days later, on November 1st, his dad — and my only son — Trevor, aka Sonshine, died from suicide. He was 23 years old.

For the first few months following his death, two “whys” prevented me from following him: breathing and Parker. Those are also my whys for starting Breathe • The Movement.

Trevor struggled with depression and anxiety from the time he was ten until the day he died, when a perfect storm of tragic events triggered him to make a split-second decision that changed the lives of everyone around him forever. I can’t help but think if only he could have taken one more breath, the storm might have passed. I had always shared with him the power of breathing — taking one breath and one moment at a time. But somehow he found himself in a moment that took away both his breath and his hope.

I don’t want that to happen to anyone else. Trevor was a powerful presence in the world with his kindness and big ol’ smile. He had a gentle, kind, funny, and edgy personality. He expressed himself through his art and had two projects he was passionate about: one as a freelance tattoo artist and one putting his art on tees and caps. He was instinctively inspired to help others stay and breathe. But he was not well educated about depression, trauma, and addiction, or how breath can help us get through the hard moments and embrace being your unique self, unapologetically.

So, we honor his life and his death with Breathe • The Movement, as well as the lives and deaths of every one of us who suffer from the loss of loved ones to suicide and must learn somehow to live with the grief. Because sometimes the only thing you need to do, or can do, is breathe.

Since Trevor’s passing, one of my good friends, a client who l lead in mindful breathing, lost her husband to suicide. Her loss shook me to the core and became my aha moment. Though I have taught the idea for years, her tragedy was the moment I instinctively realized how essential breathing is to our wellbeing — how desperately we all need it!

To support our efforts with Breathe • The Movement, we sell merch created with Trevor’s art. He loved cool apparel that had a message of messy hope and true emotion. At his celebration of life, I shared the power of breathing and asked everyone to please take with them the idea that sometimes all there is to do is breathe. Trevor found himself in a moment during which he was overwhelmed and could no longer breathe. If you find yourself in just such a moment and cannot breathe for yourself, please breathe for your Trevor.

Now I want to ask you if you find yourself feeling as if you can no longer breathe, who will you breathe for?

Our goals in presenting events and products are these:

• To create the momentum to keep big conversations going about suicide and survival
• To honor our grief and the ones we’ve lost
• To help the uncomfortableness of talking about suicide and mental health become as comfortable as talking about physical fitness
• To embrace our grief for the people we’ve lost and to speak their names
• To help save those who are still here and still suffer
• To breathe

We will dedicate 20% of our profits to support suicide prevention and mental wellness efforts. The remaining profits will help create and build Breathe • The Movement.

I see you and acknowledge your pain. Together we can make the world see and acknowledge the pain of all of us. Let’s breathe, first for ourselves, but if not, for someone else. One breath in and one breath out at a time.

Please subscribe to our mailing list so you’ll know where we will be and what swag is available to purchase. Please share your thoughts, ideas, and stories as well. Suicide sucks but our merch and events don’t! It’s going to be fun, sad, hard, and empowering. Grief and joy can coexist. If you are having suicidal thoughts please call 988. And breathe!

Trevor’s Mom